How to Advocate for Your ADHD Child at School - Part 2
Advocate for your ADHD child
What to say when school says “they’re fine here” — and how to get support written down
7. Request reasonable adjustments
Schools have duties around reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils. GOV.UK explains that education providers must make reasonable adjustments so disabled students are not discriminated against, including changes such as extra support or aids where appropriate. External link: GOV.UK disability rights in education
For ADHD children, reasonable adjustments might include:
written instructions as well as verbal ones
tasks broken into smaller steps
reduced copying from the board
a movement break before writing
visual checklists
help recording homework
seating adjustments
warning before transitions
calm space
check-ins with a trusted adult
reduced sensory load where possible
alternative ways to show learning
support with organisation
predictable routines
The key is this: adjustments should match the child’s need.
A vague “we will remind them” is often not enough.
Try:
“What reasonable adjustments can be put in place to reduce the barriers my child is experiencing?”
Or:
“Can we agree which adjustments will be used consistently and how we will review their impact?”
Consistency matters.
A strategy used once by a supply teacher during a Tuesday moon cycle is not provision.
8. Ask for things to be written down
This is where many parents lose ground.
A meeting feels positive. Everyone nods. Someone says, “We’ll support them.”
Then nothing changes.
Not because everyone is terrible. Sometimes school is busy. Sometimes communication breaks down. Sometimes the agreed support was never specific enough in the first place.
So ask for the plan in writing.
This might be called:
SEN Support Plan
Individual Support Plan
One Page Profile
Pupil Passport
Pastoral Support Plan
Behaviour Support Plan
Reasonable Adjustments Plan
The title matters less than the content.
A good plan should include:
strengths
needs
triggers
early signs of overwhelm
agreed support
who is responsible
how often it happens
review date
pupil voice
parent voice
At the end of the meeting, ask:
“Can we summarise the agreed actions before we finish?”
Then follow up by email:
“Thank you for meeting with me today. My understanding is that we agreed the following…”
This creates a record.
And records matter.
Especially if you later need to request more support, involve outside professionals, or consider an EHCP needs assessment.
What is an EHCP and when should parents apply?
9. Do not wait for a diagnosis before asking for help
This is important.
Schools can support needs before diagnosis.
A diagnosis can help explain the pattern, but support should not be frozen until a medical letter arrives from a waiting list that appears to be powered by Victorian plumbing.
If your child is struggling now, you can ask for support now.
Try:
“Although my child does not currently have a diagnosis, the difficulties are affecting their access to learning and emotional wellbeing. I would like support to be based on presenting need.”
That is a strong phrase:
“Support based on presenting need.”
Use it.
Put it in emails.
Bring it to meetings.
Teach it to the dog.
10. Go into meetings with prepared wording
School meetings can make even confident parents lose their words.
You may know exactly what you want to say in the car.
Then you sit down and someone says, “We do not see that presentation here,” and suddenly your brain opens seventeen tabs and all of them freeze.
This is why prepared wording helps.
Not because you cannot speak for your child.
Because the room is loaded.
You are discussing the person you love most with people who may or may not understand what is really happening.
Prepared scripts can help you:
explain concerns clearly
avoid sounding defensive
ask for specific support
challenge “they’re fine here” calmly
request assessments
ask for written actions
keep the meeting focused
follow up afterwards
A blog can give you general phrases.
A personalised school meeting script gives you the exact wording for your child’s situation, including what to say, what to ask, and how to push back without burning bridges.
Need help putting your concerns into words?
My personalised school meeting scripts are designed for parents who know their child needs support but struggle to say it clearly in the room.
Get a personalised school meeting script
Quick parent checklist before your next school meeting
Before the meeting, write down:
the main concern
three examples
what happens at home
what school may not be seeing
what your child says
what support you are asking for
what you want written down
when you want the plan reviewed
During the meeting, ask:
“What evidence are we using?”
“What support will be put in place?”
“Who will do this?”
“When will it start?”
“How will we review whether it is working?”
“Can this be added to the meeting notes?”
After the meeting, email:
“Thank you for meeting with me. My understanding is that we agreed…”
Then list the actions.
Simple.
Not easy. But simple.
Final thought: you are not being difficult
Parents often worry they are being “that parent.”
Let me be clear.
Asking for your child’s needs to be understood is not being difficult.
Asking for support to be written down is not being difficult.
Asking for reasonable adjustments is not being difficult.
Asking school to look beyond surface behaviour is not being difficult.
You are not trying to win a fight.
You are trying to build a bridge between your child and the adults who teach them.
But bridges need structure.
They do not hold up on vibes.
So document. Ask clearly. Use the right language. Follow up in writing. Keep the focus on need, support and review.
And if you need the words ready before the pressure hits, a personalised school meeting script can help you walk in with clarity instead of panic.
You do not have to wing it.
Order your personalised school meeting script
