The first day gets the photographs. The second week tells us rather more.
New blazer. New timetable. The pencil case has more equipment than a small office. Your child has survived the first few days of Year 7 and everyone is cautiously congratulating themselves.
Then comes an ordinary Tuesday. Someone can't find their PE kit, the homework app needs yet another password and your child announces that the whole of secondary school is a terrible idea.
Before deciding they've suddenly changed their mind, I'd ask what those first days have actually demanded of them.
The novelty wears off. The workload doesn't.
Starting secondary school can be exciting. It can also involve learning a new building, new adults, unfamiliar rules and a timetable that seems to have been designed by someone who really enjoys abbreviations.
For some children with ADHD, autism, dyslexia or other SEND, managing the details takes a great deal of effort. For others, the worry begins before day one. There is no compulsory week-two wobble. The point is to notice changes rather than wait for a dramatic one.
The clues aren't always dramatic
A child who stops eating lunch because the canteen is too busy. A forgotten book that earns a detention. A friendship that's already shifted. Sunday evening suddenly becoming everybody's least favourite appointment.
Individually, those might look small. Together, they may show you where the school day is becoming difficult. One missing PE kit is not a crisis. Repeated distress about PE is worth understanding.
A child can be attending every lesson and still be struggling to access parts of the school day. The attendance register won't tell you that.
“They're settling in beautifully.” Are they?
I know teachers who work extraordinarily hard to help children settle. I've also known parents who collect a quiet, polite Year 7 pupil and then spend the evening managing tears, withdrawal or an argument over absolutely nothing in particular.
School and home aren't necessarily contradicting one another. They're seeing different parts of the same day. Some children may be masking difficulties; others may simply be exhausted, worried or overwhelmed. Don't turn a possibility into a diagnosis.
And before asking fourteen questions in the car, consider a snack and a bit of quiet. My after-school guide explains why that can help.
Do one useful thing before Friday
Not a colour-coded family command centre. Not a seven-page email copied to half the senior leadership team. One question, and a willingness to listen.
Ask your child, when they're ready: “Which part of the school day feels hardest at the moment?” Finding classrooms? The lunch queue? Changing after PE? Keeping track of homework?
Take the answer to the form tutor or SENCo. Ask whether one practical change might help: a quieter lunch arrangement, a clear homework reminder or a little support with transitions. Agree when you'll check whether it has made a difference.
Something to say to school
“We've noticed [one change at home] since the start of Year 7. Our child says [specific part of the day] is difficult. Could we compare what we're seeing and try one adjustment, then review it together?”
If distress is intense, worsening or affecting attendance, contact school promptly rather than waiting for a convenient date in the calendar.
And if everyone says “give it time”?
Sometimes time helps. Sometimes the thing that needs time is a decent conversation between the adults.
After years in classrooms and as a SENCo, I've learnt that the earlier we understand which bit is hard, the less likely we are to spend the rest of the term arguing about the wrong problem.
Year 7 doesn't need to be perfect by week two. But a child shouldn't have to reach breaking point before we start listening.
Useful next steps · Start free
Try my free Year 7 Checklist to notice patterns and prepare for school conversations, or explore the Year 7 Transition hub.
For what may happen when the demands build further, read Year 7 in October: The Point Where Everyone Stops Pretending.
